Sententia

I had an epiphany 13 days ago when I was writing my reflective blog on the year 2009. New Year's Day is a dangerous holiday--and not in the oops-I-drank-too-much-why-am-I-waking-up-in-the-driveway kind of way, but more in a locus-of-control kind of way. People celebrate New Year's because of the hope that the following year just has to be better than whatever garbage has come before. I realized this potentially puts too much power in the hands of an imaginary human construct. The year 2010, of course, won't make up for anything because it's just an invented measurement of the passage of time. Bad things will continue to happen, as well as good things. What things will you choose to focus on? It's very much a matter of perspective, which is really what I want to talk more about.

A few weeks back, I became aware of a job opportunity through the company I do contract training for. The job is challenging, is something I believe in, and is a great fit for me. There was just one problem: it requires a lot of driving around the Los Angeles region, at least two hours north of where I live. This seemed like an impossible obstacle to overcome. I just moved to San Diego with little desire to relocate again, and I have no car right now. I didn't say I couldn't do the job because I wanted it so badly, but I didn't say yes either because I didn't think it was possible.

Then my parents came to visit and gave me a little outside perspective. They seemed to think it was doable and discussed various options with me that would help make it work. The more I talked about it and thought about it, the more possible and exciting it seemed. I rented a black Dodge Caliber and drove it all over the area to get to know it a lot better. Yesterday, I drove to Irvine to formally interview for the position. Four interviewers were present, and I had worked with two of them in the past. I have enjoyed working with everyone I have met in the company, so it was a comfortable and productive meeting, conducted more like a conversation. Overall, I think it went well. I am certainly confident that I can do the best work for them.

What really interests me is the huge difference a slight shift in perspective made. I know that if my parents hadn't happened to be here to share their view I would likely have said to myself, "it sounds great, but it's just too far." Right now, I'm still wondering why that would have been my view, why I didn't have the confidence in myself to just go for it.

Now I guess I should clarify that, as of this writing, I don't know whether or not I have the job. Whatever happens, I know that I got the interview because I have impressed people with the work I have done as a contracted trainer, and I was able to do that work because of the hard work I put in as a teacher in Baltimore. Both back east and here in San Diego, I have had an incredible amount of support from coworkers and bosses. And if they do give me the job? I'm going to kick butt at it!

Even if they decide not to give the job to me, I know that it's not due to any lack of qualification on my part. That will sustain me through any future job searches I may have to endure. Negative things will continue to happen try to make us forget anything positive. They are good at that. Don't let them.